FAT

Fat. noun ; ‘a natural oily or greasy substance occurring in animal bodies, esp. when deposited as a layer under the skin or around certain organs.’

As the Apple Dictionary App says. With my knowledge of biology, which is well above average, i can vouch for its credibility.

Yet is this the meaning we associate with the word? How many of you, when u read the title, thought of it like this?

And how many of you, conjured up a picture of old fat aunty sitting in her rocky chair? Or a teenage glutton in McD’s eating a Maharaja Mac? Or a fat girl walking down the street you once looked at and mocked?

Most of us, we live our lives silently branding people. We meet someone for the first time, and pick one attribute, usually the most obvious, and BOOM! Brand it to their foreheads. After that, the person is nothing but that. ‘Oh, you met the new guy in class? He’s suchha nerd!’ and ‘Oh, the new girl, the shabby one dude, she’s sitting to the right!’ also, ‘ Man, you saw the hot chick in the next building? She’s got sweet legs!’ or if  you’re like me, ‘Yeah, a new girl joined their lab. She’s the fat one. She’ll fit right into the sumo club.’ Nice way of saying welcome.

I knew reputation preceds oneself. But I live where appearance preceds and sets you up firmly. You are forever the ‘FAT’ girl. And no matter what you do, how you are, or what you’re capable of, it never goes away. Your friends dont give it a rest, your acquaintances think even less before remarking on it. Moreover, everyone expects you to be cool about it. Laugh along with them, cause its oh so funny! But you’re such a kill joy, or so sensitive if you cant find the humour in the repetitive jokes anymore. You’re touchy and better left alone. So you learn to laugh about it all through your school days, thinking the people you befriend later will be more mature and take you for what you are, not how you look. But how long are you supposed to wait? It just doesn’t seem to end. The same lame jokes about how the earth shakes when u walk, of how everyone’s in danger of falling through the earth if u take a fall, of how you won’t get hurt if you fall cause there’s soo much cushion,of practically huge people standing behind you because nothing is visible if your huge monstrosity stands in front of it and how funny it will be to hug you cause you wont fit in their arms,keep resurfacing with every new batch of people you meet.

How am I supposed to laugh at them? Even if I’m selfless and dont take offence at people cracking jokes at my expense, i cant laugh at these jokes because they’re plainly sad and old jokes to me. Yes, you cracked it for the first time, and proceeded to apologize right after it, but I didnt like it. Not because i’m fat. Believe me, I know that and live with it much better than you can imagine. But because i’m so totally tired of them.

I dont think people understand what they do, they crack a joke on a person and forget about it. Its a funny joke to them, but its my life. I’ve seen perfectly fine girls lament to their boyfriends on how fat they’re becoming. I’ve heard people complain that they were so fat when young. But i dont think they get it. What this tagging, this branding does is create a sort of small disability group. You single them out, cause u consider them dis-abled. I was recently asked a question, ‘Can u run?’. I don’t think it gets more evident than that. But what this is also capable of doing in the long run is actually making the person disabled. They think like that. They believe they cant.

I know obesity is no disability. Its very easily reversed, and all of the work and effort has to be my own. But I was always told oh you moan over nothing, you’re just too lazy to fix it. I was never given help or support to actually fix it. I am awkward in some situations because of it, I dont engage in any physical activities that may expose me to ridicule publicly, and am just shy of doing some things openly that another person may never think twice about. It doesnt show mostly, cause I am a strong person, and am exceptional in more ways than one to keep the fact hidden. But sometimes I miss doing those things. I miss being normal.

Its not easy being in someone else’s shoes, but if u cant accept a perfectly normal person in your life, except with a little extra weight, then i dont know where we’re headed.

PS: This was not written to imply in any way that this is the only way people react. There always are exceptions, and i’m grateful to be with quite a lot of them. This is also not a ‘hate piece’ inspired by years of frustration. This is a totally objective evaluation,just from a different perspective. And these are my personal views, everybody may not agree with them. We will agree to disagree. 😀

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About Tanaya

Just another ordinary girl, who strives to be not so ordinary. I'm pathologically introspective, on a constant rampage to make everything in life have meaning, and trying, in the process, to understand myself 'honestly'. I'm also a biology grad student and a fun loving person who enjoys artistic creativity and music.

Posted on October 3, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. People tend to do a lot of things… I’ve been called skinny most of my life and I was just sick and tired of all the comments and “advice” (to eat more!)… But I stopped listening to them. I mean, its my life and I can eat whatever i want, whenever i want. You reach a point where you’re beyond caring what anyone else thinks… Its your body man!
    Its sort of like, those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. So just stay away from the vella people… or give them a dose of their medicine. They’ll shut up.
    Tc 🙂

  2. I appreciate your objectivity and understand your emotions.
    You are not suffering from any disability, those who think that are the disabled ones needing help.
    Take care

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