Do not be proud of what you have,
Never condemn in your perceived perfection
Things stay constant for but a fleeting second
The condemned shall rise to dispel your misconceptions
Exercise caution, Beware!
They may be fictitious, the things for which you care
Your life may stray, from plan far away
Reduced to the cinders of a laughable play
The bat of an eye,
A twist of fate,
Reality walks with a gleam in the eye,
Only to one day make you see
How mercurial life can be!
Looking for a new view
Seeking the Old, in a new purview
Old is familiar, safe and easy
New is unknown, murky and scary….
Old is stable, secure and sure
But it needs New; constant recourse
New brings action, hope and life
Old is gold; but stagnant it dies
Keep the Old, with a dash of new….
Every once in a while,
Change the damn view!
Your problems are so insignificant, they really don’t deserve the attention you give them.
If only homo sapiens were not so self-centered a species. It always takes a greater disaster to realise this.
There is a very good quote by Robert Fulgham, it tells you to realise the difference between a problem and an inconvenience. ( A very good description of it is found at Zenpencils, here)
I really like it, but would also like to add, that sometimes, you do have problems that may not be mere inconveniences. But they may not be the end of the world. Think about the various people struggling more than you, think about people in your own life who made sacrifices to get you where you are, think about the people who go through all this and never complain. Yes, you have problems, but so does everybody.
Make less of your problems and more of your successes. Prioritise happiness over discontentment.
I’ve done it many times before. Oh, its a piece of cake for me! I’ll get up tomorrow morning, mix up a few things, and Voila! There it will be, my desired Outcome! I’m confident. I’m good. I’m working to be better. I’m happy. I’m content. I want to move to better things, I can move to better things.
I leave a place. I decided to join a place. I’m happy. I chose well. Its gonna be an interesting adventure, i’ll enjoy the journey’s graph.
I’m at the new place, its BIG, its beautiful. Its what I wanted. Maybe better than what I wanted.
I’m Oh so confused! This is all so new. Intimidating! The first doubts creep in; Can i do this? Am I meant to be here?!
You’re an intelligent kid. You can do this. I brace myself up. Yes, the mornings are torturous; I tear myself awake from the strange world of helpless half-dreams, with the lingering feeling of being out of place, only to start hyperventilating. I learn to wake up early to calm myself down. I learn to embrace the cool morning air during the long journey and let it relax my senses.
I enter the new place and feel like colossal gates closed on all logical, normal modes of life. I desperately try to look for my life like I knew it, draw connections, find even the smallest similarities. These things keep me going. They give me strength to wake up the next day.
Things settle. I settle. I even get some small successes. I change, I accept, I try to like the place.
But the place is not so accomodating. Its relentless. It rites of passage are far too many. It follows a system guarded by far too many sentinels. So even though you feel Initiated into the system, you’ve not even been Inducted.
I feel lost again. The same questions resurface; Can I do this?
New questions emerge. Was I ever meant to do this? Was my decision wrong?
But the worst are the realisations. I was not like this. I was a happy person. I lived life, and loved it. I was good at what I did. I got up with the content, self assured air of a Confident person. Yes, I was confident. I was satisfied. I aimed high and had the conviction to achieve the heights.
Now I’m just tired. I’m tired of being lost, intimidated, dissatisfied, unsuccessful. I’m tired of being in this new, unfamiliar place. I’m tired of the constant search for meaning in this life. I’m tired of the ‘What am I doing?’ and ‘Why am I doing this?’. Cause I don’t have an answer to them. I’m tired of not being me. I miss me.
So, what is the solution? The place is unfeeling, even resentful. Its nothing like I’ve seen before, I don’t understand it. Expecting it to change will be unhelpful and naive. Change can only be brought to dynamic things, things that are capable of adaptation. I may be tired, shaken sick by the shock of the new place being so incomprehensible. But I am capable of change. I wanted this place to embrace me as i am. But it was not to be so. So, adapting, adjusting, doing things i never thought of, the way i never thought of. That will be the order of the day.
This may be the only lesson I learn here. That new places can be hard, unforgiving, and disagreeable to change. They can change you so much you forget what you were. They put you in unimaginable situations, unarmed. Does that mean I’ll lose? Does that mean I become a stoic spectator to my own life? No. I will change, cause I can. I’m better than the place. I will change, on my own terms. I will conquer this. I will build a new life, better than the old one I knew. I will be me again. A better me.
It may have been one lesson, but it was one hell of a lesson. I came, I saw. But I HELD MY OWN.